How could counselling help me?

If you’ve never had counselling before, you might be wondering what it is exactly, and how it could possibly help. Many of us go through life as the walking wounded. Life happens, and then with the good old British stiff upper lip, we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and carry on. To all outside observers, we are fine, but inwardly we feel the pain of the unhealed wounds we still carry with us. It isn’t socially acceptable to discuss our pain with others, so when asked how we are, we say we’re fine. Sometimes, as much as we love them, our friends and family don’t understand, they give us advice on how to fix our problems or tell us why we should be grateful for what we have, but they don’t REALLY listen. We inwardly yearn to feel heard, to have someone understand our pain, to feel ok about not feeling ok. We want to feel accepted, and validated, to have someone offer us empathy and compassion, so that we can gradually develop the ability to offer these vital resources to ourselves, and say, ‘I do deserve compassion, forgiveness and acceptance, I am a person of value, I can love and accept myself.’

Counselling can be life changing because everything we say and do, how we relate to others, how we live and work, depends on what we believe about ourselves. If we carry deeply held beliefs that we are somehow not enough, that we are unacceptable, that we are not worthy of love and incapable of success, then this is how we will be in the world.

To use a metaphor, imagine you are looking at one of those fairground mirrors, where your image is distorted, so you look disfigured; Counselling holds up a clear mirror, and helps you to see the truth.

Counselling offers a space for you to discover who you really are and to begin to see that you are valuable, loveable and acceptable, that you are stronger and more capable than you have ever believed. The messages that have told you otherwise are convincing lies that cause you to hold a distorted image of yourself, like those fairground mirror. Counselling could help you see the real, wonderful you.

If this post resonates with you, and you would like to give yourself the time and space to meet the real you, get in touch. I offer weekly and fortnightly sessions, In-Person in Richmond, North Yorkshire, or online nationwide. I’ll look forward to meeting you.

Victoria