Beware of those pesky ANT’s

If you’ve been in therapy before, you’ve probably heard the term, Automatic Negative Thoughts, or ANTs. Everyone experiences ANTs, but for some, they can be particularly persistent and distressing.

So, what is an ANT?

Imagine you’re at work and you’ve just had a dressing down from your boss who is in a particularly bad mood today. You automatically think, ‘I’m going to lose my job.’ This is an automatic negative thought or ANT for short. Now some might experience this thought and brush it off as just a thought, they carry on with their day as usual, and everything is fine. Many, however, are hooked in by the thought; by ‘hooked,’ I mean that the thought feels very real, it's not just a passing thought but almost a statement of fact. Unfortunately, our minds don’t know the difference between an imagined threat and a real one and so our bodies respond to such thoughts by releasing stress hormones, our hearts pound as our bodies become ready to fight or flee. As we consider the thought, ‘I’m going to lose my job,’ and its accompanying emotions, fear, sadness, and maybe guilt, remorse, or shame - further thoughts follow – ‘I won’t be able to pay the rent!’ ‘I’m going to be made homeless!’ ‘My wife will leave me!’

None of these thoughts are based on facts, we don’t know for certain that any of these things will happen. It’s also unlikely any of these thoughts are helpful to us. When we are hooked in by such thoughts, our stress hormones continue to circulate throughout our bodies, our problem-solving minds ‘helpfully,’ inform us of further potential problems to consider, and we use our imaginations to imagine the worst. Now this isn’t our fault, it is down to the way that our human brains are wired. Our brains afford us the ability to consider possible future problems and imaginatively create solutions. This ability has served the human race well. When this ability has been applied to external (outside of ourselves,) problems, for example, foreseeing a flood, our minds can assist us to creatively solve the problem, first imagining and then creating an appropriate flood defense. When it comes to internal problems, however, (Inside of our minds) all this imagining the worst, and seeking to rid ourselves of the internal problems, (disturbing thoughts, uncomfortable sensations, fear, anger, anxiety), is unhelpful. Rather than ridding ourselves of the ‘problem,’ we often create further disturbing thoughts, uncomfortable sensations, and painful emotions. Can we get rid of our thoughts?

We often seek to rid ourselves of these thoughts, feelings, and emotions, Unfortunately, it’s very difficult to get rid of them. You must be aware of the thing that you don’t want to think about, in order to know not to think about it. For example, if I ask you not to think about a gooey, creamy doughnut, and its delicious taste…can you do that? Put the thought out of your mind, do not think about donughts at all for the next 60 seconds. Give it a go now….

 

Could you do it? Or were you thinking, ‘Don’t think about doughnuts?’ Guess what, that still counts. This is what we do when we try to put something out of our minds, ‘don’t think about the possibility of being fired,’ guess what, you’re constantly holding the thought of getting fired in your mind, as you have to be aware of the thing, that you don’t want to think about. Imagine you’re in a swimming pool and you’re trying to hold down an inflatable under the water, you have to put a lot of force and effort into holding it there, and what happens when you let go? It pops right back up. It takes a similar amount of focus and energy when you try to hold down your unwanted thoughts.

It’s possible some might have tried the challenge above, and answered, ‘Yes, I managed to not think about the doughnut the whole time, I just sang a song, there you go, thought gone’. but in this case, I would ask, how much effort and energy did you have to put into not thinking the thought? Were you able to think about anything else? And if this were a real-world situation, a real ANT that popped up in your workday, how long could you keep this up? You must let go of the inflatable at some point, and then, it pops right back up.

Can we rid ourselves of emotions? 

Imagine you are in love with someone, and you are commanded not to love them anymore…could you do it? Not so easy right?

It’s common for people to attempt to distract themselves in an effort to avoid or push away difficult thoughts, emotions, and internal experiences. They might throw themselves into work excessively, keeping mentally busy. They might keep physically busy with excessive housework or working out. We can become angry with our loved ones, as we attempt to deny our angry and shameful feelings about ourselves, we project them onto others; ‘Why are YOU always so clumsy?’ ‘YOU, never do anything right!’ As a result, our family begin to feel anger and shame, the very emotions we are trying to push away. We temporarily relieve ourselves of those difficult feelings by behaving in ways that encourage them in others. Many seek refuge in alcohol or drugs, to escape painful thoughts or feelings. Unfortunately, some find this relief in acts of self-harm, or even suicide. Now working hard or working out might not seem detrimental but the emphasis is on the excess here. Working excessively to avoid feeling, might feel good in the moment, but in the long term, it can have detrimental effects to your relationships and your health. Denying our feelings and causing them to manifest in others, has obvious detrimental effects on our relationships. Likewise drinking and taking drugs has obvious detrimental effects, to our health, our personal and social relationships and potentially, our security if taken too far, excessive alcohol and drug use could result in the loss of employment and even death.

What is the alternative to seeking to rid ourselves of unwelcomed thoughts, feelings, and emotions? 

 In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, ACT. We work on the understanding that these feelings are a normal part of the human experience. Like two sides of a coin, we have the ability to experience love, and hate, Joy and sadness, peace and anger, and this is all part of the normal human experience. No one is in a state of perfect love, joy, and peace all of the time, yet we treat our difficult emotions as if they are bad, and something we need to rid ourselves of. ACT teaches that the path to a better life resides in the acceptance of all of our emotional states, rather than wasting our energies, focus, and attention on the futile effort to rid ourselves or that which is perfectly natural.

Now accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it. I could accept, for example, my neighbor having an aggressive dog that growls at me every time I walk by. Accepting this situation doesn’t mean that I like it, it means that I accept what is, and recognise that it is something I cannot change.

So how can we accept ANTs?

Let’s continue with the example of the ANT, ‘I’m going to lose my job.’ And its fellow ANT palls, ‘I’m going to lose my house’ and ‘My wife will leave me.’ the first thing to consider is, are these thoughts helpful? We don’t know for sure what the future holds, and sure, worst-case scenario, I guess those thoughts are possibly true, but are they helpful? If you hold these thoughts in your mind and give them lots of attention, how does it lead you to act? Does it encourage you to speak with your supervisors about your concerns? improve your work output? Or encourage you to finally move into the career you always dreamed of? Or does it result in you feeling unmotivated, low mood, anxious, and stressed, does it lead to you avoiding your supervisor for fear of retribution? Does it cause you to behave in ways that inadvertently may make your demise more likely? The latter is often the case.

What can you do with these thoughts and feelings if you can’t get rid of them?

1/ Recognise that you are not your thoughts! There is a distinction between you, and your thoughts. Most people have heard the quote, “I think, therefore I am.” In my opinion, this would be better worded as ‘I am therefore I think.’ We are not our thoughts, we are people with the ability to think, and we can choose to give less time and attention to thoughts that are not useful to us. We often walk around in the fog of our thinking, without recognising, we can step back out of the fog. You can practice stepping out of the fog of your thinking with the help of a mindfulness exercise; give it a go: Sit comfortably, in a quiet space, and take a few minutes to just focus on your breath; setting a timer might be helpful, give yourself 2-3 minutes, or longer if you wish. Keep focusing on your breath, taking long slow breaths, in and out. When thoughts pop up, notice them, perhaps give them an appropriate label, “Oh that was a WORRY thought,” and then come back to focusing on your breath. Keep focusing on your breath, and just noticing any thoughts that pop up, until your time is up. Now, answer this question; who was noticing the thoughts? Are you the one thinking, or the one noticing the thoughts? We are so used to being in the fog that we don’t recognise we have the ability to step out of it. Stepping out of the fog, gives you the space to ask yourself, is this thinking helpful? Keep practicing this exercise, and you will strengthen your ability to step out of the fog and make goal-directed decisions throughout your day.

2/ recognise the valued direction you would like to move in

Be clear on what you value. If your ANTs are popping up with thoughts of cream cakes, and you value health and vitality, these ANTs are pulling you off your valued path, and into the ditch. When you learn to recognise, “there’s a TEMPTATION thought,” recognise this thought as unhelpful, and then refocus on your goal, ‘health and vitality.’ This will help motivate you to stay on that path.

Have you noticed you’re not ignoring or pushing away the thought of cream cakes here, just noticing it, naming it as a temptation thought, recognising it as unhelpful, and recommitting to take actions in line with your values.

3/ Move in a valued direction

As you learn to notice those unhelpful thoughts that don’t lead you to act in line with your values, you will give yourself the space to choose your actions. Think about what is important to you and move in your valued direction.4/ Commit, to continue moving in your valued direction, even when the going gets tough. Get clear on what your values are and keep moving in that direction. ANTs will always pop up when you are moving in your valued direction. Promotion? - ‘Oh what if I do a bad job!’ New child? - ‘What if I fail as a parent?’ New job? - ‘What if I don’t fit in? Notice these are all potentially positive changes we make in life, as we seek to grow and prosper. But our subconscious minds are always seeking for sameness and safety. Commit to your values and keep doing what it takes to be the version of you that you want to be.

There's a lot to process in this post, read through it as many times as needed. Mindfulness has become quite trendy at present, leading some to feel like it's just a useless craze. The majority of counsellors, therapists, and psychologists, however, see mindfulness exercises as useful strategies to calm the mind. Give the exercises a go, even if you are skeptical, you may be surprised!

I hope you’ve found this post helpful in controlling those pesky ANT’s

Until next time

Victoria